Here You Come Again
by angel of moozik
Summary: Can Remus find the courage this time to say what he couldn't all those years ago? Ginny/Lupin


**This is something I wrote a while ago, but never put on this site for some reason. It's a weird pairing and it's also my first time writing a generation that isn't Harry's, so I'm not particularly confident about it. I've decided to throw it out there and see what everyone thinks though! Please leave a review if you think it's any good!**

**If you got an email about this because you have me on author alert for 'Something There,' just to let you know that chapter 7 is with my beta right now and chapter 8 is in the process of being written.

* * *

**

_Remus Lupin looked around the dorm. Everyone else was still asleep, so he guessed he still had a while until breakfast. He stayed still in his bed, trying to get back to sleep, but he was too awake. Maybe he should start working on that charms essay that was due in soon. No doubt he'd end up doing James' and Sirius' for them too, so he should get his done early. Stretching, he rolled out of bed and smiled as the cool air reached his skin; a welcome change after the stuffiness of his bed, with its covers and curtains not letting any air in. He remembered that he'd left his books in the Common Room, so he crept through the dorm and down the stairs to get them._

Remus Lupin looks at his bedside clock: half past four in the morning. With a groan, he turns over to try and get back to sleep for a few hours, but it's hopeless. His bed's too hot and his throat's too dry and however much he shifts around, he can't get comfortable. He lies there for a minute, trying to decide whether getting out of bed will wake him up even more, or whether a glass of water will help him get back to sleep. There's the matter of perhaps waking up Sirius or his mother's portrait accidentally too, both of which would have quite scary results. He's really thirsty though, and he decides he'll just risk it, otherwise he'll probably fall asleep in the Order meeting tomorrow or something. He unpeels himself from his hot, sticky bed and creeps downstairs to the kitchen.

_It was dark in the Common Room, and Remus hadn't remembered his wand to turn the lights on. He had the strangest feeling that someone else was already there, but he put it down to his senses being a bit off because he was going to transform in a few days. Who could possibly be up so early? He felt his way along the walls, cursing himself for leaving his books at the opposite end of the room. When he finally managed to find them, he started to feel his way back towards the dorm, as the Common Room was even hotter and he couldn't shake the feeling that someone else was there though, and it made him feel uneasy. _

"_Is anyone there?" he asked, trying to sound braver than he felt._

_He was answered by just a small sob, but he recognised who it was straight away. _

"_Lily? What's wrong?"_

The house is dark, and because he can't be bothered to go back and get his wand, he has to feel his way along the walls and be extra careful on the stairs. He makes his way down to the kitchen without disturbing either of the Blacks thankfully. It's lighter in there; it faces the rising sun, and Remus is sure he can see the shadow of a person on the wall, although there's no one sitting at the table. If he was anywhere else, Remus would have gone back upstairs and got his wand, but he knew he was safe in headquarters. It must just be the shadow of the breadbin or something silly like that.

Trying to calm himself down (his nerves are always all over the place in the few days before he's due to transform), he pours himself a glass of water and takes big gulps from it, feeling cooler and more comfortable immediately. He goes to pour himself a second glass, but out of the corner of his eye he sees the shadow on the wall move. Armed with only a glass of water, he turns round to see what could be doing that and sees a small shape curled up against the wall. He relaxes; he knows who it is just from her dim silhouette.

"Ginny? Are you ok?"

"_And then he hexed Severus' potion so that it would explode his cauldron and make him come out in an orange rash. It was so childish, and James just wouldn't apologise, even though I asked him to several times. He doesn't care that Severus is one of my best friends. He just sees another Slytherin that for some reason he's duty-bound to make fun of and be cruel to. Why won't he just grow up? I tried to talk to him about it and he just laughed at me. That's why I'm going to dump him tomorrow morning. I'm so fed up of his arrogance."_

_Remus sighed. When would his friend learn? James loved taunting the Slytherins, and fair play, a lot of them were idiots, but what he was doing was bordering on bullying sometimes, especially when it came to Severus Snape. He knew James was jealous of Snape's friendship with his girlfriend, and he was an easy target anyway, so most of his contempt for Slytherins seemed to be aimed at him. Lily would argue with him about it all the time, but James just wouldn't listen to her. He didn't care what she thought; she didn't understand that they deserved it, apparently._

_If Lily had asked _him _to stop making fun of Snape, he would've done it immediately, and possibly even taken him flowers and a chocolate frog to apologise. He'd do anything for Lily. Sometimes he really hated James, not just because he was jealous of him because Lily loved him, but because the bigheaded idiot couldn't see that he had the perfect girlfriend and treated her like he was beneath her. Whenever they had an argument, he'd always say 'she'll come round.' He'd never apologise to her, or admit he was wrong. Lily was a lovely girl, and she didn't deserve to be treated that way. If it was him going out with her, he'd respect her and treat her properly. He was just her friend. Even worse, he was the friend she trusted the most to talk to about whatever James had done to upset her._

"_Do you think I _should _dump him?" she asked timidly._

_The temptation to tell her to dump the stupid arse and go out with him every time she asked him that was always great, but he couldn't, obviously. She was trusting him to say the right thing to help her forgive him, not drive her away from him. Besides, no girl was ever going to want to go out with him when they had the option of James. So every time, he just sat and nodded and patted her arm and said 'you know what James is like' and 'you know he's sorry really, but he's just so proud,' until she came round and agreed to forgive him._

_This time, Remus was feeling slightly bolder for some reason. Perhaps it was because for once, he couldn't see her face in the darkness, or maybe just because he was tired of doing the same thing over and over. Either way, he knew he should tell her he loved her. She should know, even if nothing happened. She was his friend, she was Lily; even if she didn't feel the same way as he did, which he had to admit was unlikely, she wouldn't laugh at him or anything._

_But he couldn't. What would be the point? She'd say he was just a friend to her, stay with James, possibly even tell him that one of his best friends had said something completely inappropriate to her. James was used to that happening with Sirius, but not him! He'd never talk to him again. Besides, if he told her, she'd probably feel really awkward and then their friendship would be ruined and he wouldn't have her at all. He'd rather be friends with her and try and ignore the pains in his chest every time he saw her than never see her at all. He didn't think he could go without their early morning conversation, sitting in the library with her for hours and their games of chess in the evenings. No, he'd carry on being the steady, reliable friend. He was good at that. Why stop that to do something that could only end badly?_

"_Well you know what James is like. You know he's sorry really, but he's just so proud."_

"And then Harry just jinxed Malfoy, right in the middle of the Ministry, when he was meant to be working! I tried to tell him it's not on and that he'll get in trouble, and he just said that he's never going to get in trouble for anything after the war. And he's right, isn't he? It's just so stupid and childish; he jinxed him just because he doesn't like him very much, and it's so annoying that he can get away with it because of who he is. He knows it too; he's got so arrogant since he got that promotion. I'm twenty two years old: I can't put up with him acting like he did when he was a teenager. So I'm going to tell him tomorrow that he's dumped!"

Remus sighs. Ginny and Harry have been on and off for the past few months, and Ginny's taken to going to him for comfort and advice. He'd been the only one in the house the first time they'd broken up and hearing Ginny's angry screams, he'd run upstairs to help her. Since then, she's been coming to Grimmauld Place every time they have a fight, sometimes even knocking on Remus' bedroom door in the middle of the night when she's really upset. He doesn't mind; he hates to see people upset, and he likes to help. He just wishes Ginny didn't have to be such a nice person. It feels like history's repeating itself.

From the first time he comforted her, the situation reminded him of what Lily had had to put up with from James in school, and he found himself repeating the same old lines and advice over and over again. Ginny's different to Lily, and he sees more faults in her: she can be selfish and she has quite a temper on her, but he probably would've seen those things in Lily too if it wasn't for him being older and not quite as blinded by love. Yes, he's managed to do it again: fall in love with the girl he's meant to be being a friend to. This time it's even worse: she's decades younger than him. He used to teach her, for Merlin's sake!

He can't help it though. He'd always seen her as another Weasley kid before he'd started talking to her regularly: nice enough, but a bit mouthy and cheeky. As he'd got to know her though, he'd realised that she's actually very delicate and sensitive, although there's still that mischievous spark in her too. He thinks she's quite old for her age, although that doesn't stop him feeling guilty for loving her. It helps that she's beautiful too. Until all this drama with Harry started, the picture of her in Remus' mind was of when she was twelve and in his class. It took him a while to see that she wasn't the short skinny girl with bright red hair and eyes too big for her face anymore. She's a woman: still quite short, but slender rather than stick thin and she's definitely grown into her looks.

She has a warm heart too; she always thanks him for being there for her once she's calmed down, and while she rants at him about all the things she wants to do to Harry as revenge for being an idiot, he knows she won't really do them. She needs someone as mature and down-to-earth as her, not some overgrown child, but she and Harry are childhood sweethearts and she keeps giving him more chances to change. Remus knows he won't though; he's just like his father. Ginny's just like Lily in that way: she deserves someone who'll treat her well but she's unlikely to ever get that.

He finds it easier to help her than he did Lily; he knows there's no chance of them ever getting together. He won't let there be one. He won't even allow himself to feel that slither of hope he'd had with Lily, so he doesn't have to stop himself from confessing everything to her. All he can ever be to her is a friend, and he minds, of course he does, but knowing that makes it much easier. He still wants to tell her to dump the idiot, but he can't bring himself to do it.

"I'm really sorry for making you talk through all this with me again, Remus," she says, looking tired. "It must really get on your nerves listening to me say the same things over and over and then obviously not even learn from it. I try and stand up to him, you know what I'm like, but there's just no arguing with him."

"Don't be silly, Gin. You know I don't mind. I just hate seeing you so upset. _I _always repeat myself when we talk about this too," he smiles. "But it's like I always say: you're a nice girl who deserves to be happy, and you need to do something to make yourself feel better."

"If you start on one of your pro-Ginny pep talks, I might actually cry tonight," Ginny says, giving him a watery smile.

"Oh, sorry," Remus says, feeling awful. The last thing he wants is to make her cry.

"Oh no, not because of _you_," Ginny says. She knows how personally he takes things sometimes. "I just mean that Harry should be the one who tells me how wonderful I am, but he never does, except when he tells me I'm brilliant at nagging! I just don't know what to do, Remus," she sighs. "_Should _I dump him? Properly dump him, I mean. Not just stay here and go back in a few days. I'm so fed up and I just can't take it anymore!"

"Well, you know what Ha-" Remus starts to say, but he stops himself.

Despite everything: the guilt, the feelings he squashes down, his doubts, he can feel that same feeling bubbling up in him as the night when he tried to tell Lily about how he felt. He _does _need to tell her! Why should he help them get back together? She's not happy as she is now. Surely if he's such a good friend, he wouldn't advise her to go back to Harry and be miserable. She could be happy with him. He'd never talk down to her like Harry does or refuse to apologise when they fight. Why should he just accept that history's going to repeat itself? Maybe it won't if he has the nerve to try and change it. She won't laugh; he and Ginny are too close, perhaps not as close as he and Lily were, but surely that's actually a good thing. And who cares that he used to teach her? She's an adult now and there is _nothing wrong _with how he feels about her.

"I think you should think about it. Maybe there's someone out there who could treat you better."

That wasn't quite the declaration of love he'd been going for, but it was better than nothing. At least he hadn't embarrassed himself by blurting everything out and making her feel awkward when she had to tell him that she didn't feel the same.

Silence fills the room. Ginny's thinking; he can practically hear the cogs in her brain turning. She's looking at him rather oddly. What has he done?

"Are you suggesting, Remus," she asks quietly, "that _you _could treat me better?"

His first thought is that she's mocking him. Competing with Harry is the same as competing with James: he can't win. She seems to be waiting for an answer though. Maybe she _is _actually thinking about leaving Harry this time. He knows that being older than Lily was, she can see Harry's faults where Lily couldn't see James'. He tells himself not to get his hopes up though. She's hardly going to throw her relationship away for him! He might as well go for it though; she understood what he was asking. It's too late to back out now, even if it does ruin their friendship.

"Well, yes. I think I could make you happy. You deserve it," he manages to say, even though his heart feels like it's about to jump out of his throat.

"I'm going to take you up on that," she grins, all the worry of the past hour gone from her face. "Let's find out."


End file.
